Nobody warned you that settling an estate is also a travel job. Here's how to do it without losing your mind — or your savings.
You get the call. You book the flight. You stay for the funeral, hold things together, hug everyone who needs hugging — and then you go home. And then you get another call.
The house still needs to be emptied. The probate attorney wants to meet in person. The neighbors have been collecting mail and they’d really love it if someone came and got it.
So you book another flight.
Most executors don’t live in the same city as the person who died. They’re managing a property they can’t see, accounts they can’t walk into, and a process that was designed for people who live nearby. The logistics assume proximity. Grief doesn’t care where you live.
“The out-of-town executor who doesn’t plan ends up making 6 trips. The one who does makes 2.”
This guide is for the person who just realized they’re going to be doing this from a very long distance away. Here’s what actually helps.
The 5 things to know
01. You don’t have to be there for most of it.
This is the thing nobody tells you early enough. Most executor tasks — closing accounts, notifying agencies, filing paperwork, dealing with creditors — can be done remotely. Phone calls, certified mail, and digital submissions handle the majority of what needs to happen.
The exceptions: physically accessing the property, signing documents that require notarization (some states now allow remote notarization), appearing in probate court if required, and the emotional labor of going through belongings.
Before you book a trip, ask yourself:
- Can this be done by phone or mail?
- Can I authorize someone local to handle this?
- Does this require my physical presence — or just my signature?
02Get a local point person before you need one.
You need someone on the ground. Not necessarily a professional — a neighbor, a longtime family friend, a trusted cousin. Someone who can drive by the house, collect mail, let the plumber in, and tell you if something looks wrong.
If you don’t have a personal contact nearby, hire a property management company for a month. Some estate attorneys also offer this as part of their services.
The cost of a property problem you didn’t catch is always higher than the cost of someone checking in weekly.
03Your travel costs are reimbursable. Track every receipt.
Executor travel expenses — flights, hotels, rental cars, meals while traveling for estate business — are typically reimbursable from the estate. Most executors don’t know this and pay out of pocket, then lose the receipts.
What to track:
- Flights and transportation to and from the estate location
- Hotel stays during estate-related trips (not personal extension days)
- Mileage if you drive to meetings, the property, or court
- Parking, tolls, and rental cars for estate business
Keep a note on your phone with a date, description, and amount for every expense. Photo the receipt immediately. This takes 45 seconds and saves hours of reconstruction later.
04The property is the most time-sensitive piece.
If the deceased owned a home, that property needs attention starting now — not when you can get there. Utilities need to stay on (or be turned off deliberately). Insurance needs to know the home is vacant — most policies have a 30–60 day vacancy clause. Mortgage or rent needs to be paid, or you need to contact the lender.
A vacant home deteriorates faster than you’d think. A pipe that freezes in January because no one was watching the heat costs $10,000. A leak that goes unnoticed for three weeks costs more.
First-week property checklist (doable remotely)
- Confirm utilities are active — call or log in online
- Alert homeowner’s insurance to the vacancy
- Pause or forward mail — USPS.com, takes 5 minutes
- Identify a local contact who can check in
- Note mortgage or rent due dates and whether auto-pay was set up
05Plan your trips strategically, not reactively.
Before you book anything, make a list of every task that requires your physical presence. Then cluster them. Your first trip should tackle: securing the property, meeting the estate attorney, and doing an initial walkthrough of belongings. Your second trip — if needed — is for the estate sale, final property clearance, and closing.
Give yourself more time than you think you need. Two days for a house cleanout becomes four. Court hearings get rescheduled. The estate sale company couldn’t come until Thursday. Build buffer.
The estates that drag on for two years are almost always the ones where the executor was constantly reacting — flying in for one thing at a time, without a plan.
Managing an estate from 800 miles away?
Good Grief keeps your tasks, deadlines, documents, and expenses in one place — so you’re not piecing it together from your couch.
